dont put me in a box

I hate the word 'christian' i would even go so far as to say i hate it with a passion. when people ask me if i am religious i hate to say i am a christian, not because i am ashamed of what i believe or who i believe in, but because of the stereotype that gets put on me straight away, without someone really knowing me. It is so frustrating, becasue i actually dont know any other answrer to give as yet.
well i dont blame people for having preconcieved ideas about christianity,i mean historically a lot of horrific things have been done in the name of christianity, a lot of blood has been shed in the name of God, and then people are like, 'god cannot exist if he lets these things go on in his name'
And they hate 'the church' and its people because all it is is a power machine to keep control of the people and take your money.
Christians are dirt, and nothing but hypocrites. so why do i associate myself with this name? i dont know... I was trying to think of another name for what i believe (as well as new words for stupid christian language) you know its really hard to do that when its something youve lived with your whole life.
Ive started refering to God as my Creator, i think this is better, i never really like to use God as a title because its so impersonal, alot of the names of God are too 'christian' but 'my Creator' is good because it is personal, he is my Creator, and it is descriptive, he created me. or i say The Creator implying he is the only one.
i know so many people who grew up in the catholic church and now are so turned off by the church and are so angry at God, its really not funny, in fact it saddens me so much.

The first night i arrived in Utrecht, and within about two hours of meeting one of my flatmates, the only one home at the time, we had had the'religion' discussion. oh man did i screw it up.
from now on im going to try and just talk about what i believe and not what group it is.
I believe there is something bigger than us out there, who created the whole universe and made each of us with loving uniqueness, he longs for us to respond to Him and his tiny murmerings within our soul, he meets with those who search for Him with all of their being. He gave us authority over the earth and the animals, and we simply havent treatd it right, we have transgressed God, our creator and we transgress one another. The penalty of sin is death. The Creator, came to earth in the form of a man, to set an example of how we should live, but we killed him, but being divine he conquered death and came back from the dead, and still we dont follow his ways. Because he conquered death we are made clean in the eyes of God, if we turn from deception and believe Him we are not stained with sin and are made perfect in the eyes of God. It was because God loved us so much that he made this possible.

well this probably wont work, ill have a hard time sayng all that convincingly, the truth is 'their' arguements are simply more convincing than mine. God is just far too complex to explain.